As an American woman I am pretty much independent. Yes, I am one of those woman that do everything on her own. Or I used to do everything on my own. Before I had an African marriage.
An African marriage is different from a regular marriage. “In Africa marriage is sacred. It is a solidifies relationship that enrich communities and nations by bring forth new life and new hope. A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers.” And I got that little bit from the internet. Lmbo.
Firstly my husband is most definitely the king of this castle. There is no other head that’s higher then my husband. And not because he’s the tallest person in the house either. Lol!
Secondly nothing and I do mean nothing can go over his head. In the Airport my husband would be consider Secret Service or FBI. He knows everything down to the t.
Thirdly with my husband there is no such thing as privacy in own home. My husband is concern about everything. My blog and business, my feelings, my family and friends if I have a problem my husband is concern.
Now that I explained my husband ways let me go into mines.
I realized that we fight because I’m so independent. I have never been able to depend on anyone in my life. It has just been me, and me, and next to that me. There is no me or I in the word husband. He is one of those rare people that down take no for any answers. Slowly my husband been opening doors in my life that was off limits.
Now up until recently he had never seen me cry. That’s the moment I realize I’m not alone. I can depend on him. He always knew I was there for him but up until I crash land read the blog An African Loss to understand my meaning. I didn’t know that someone could love me so much to be there for me.
This is when I realize that this is an African love. A love that is private but open all doors within you. My husband does not like PDA (public display of affection) only hand holding sometimes. But now sometimes he kisses me not truly openly but in the car before we get out of it. Lol! You guys have to know that even that’s major when it comes to African men.
I asked my husband about his love for me. He stated; ” I love you so much that’s why I want you to fix your credit and stop shopping all the time. Spending all that money will not help our marriage.” It figure he would bring up my shopping. Now I cry all the time to him. I just cried recently to him when I missed the Desi-x-Katy collaboration with Dose of colors which was sold out this week on the first day. (Not sponsored) My husband still didn’t understand why I wanted to stay home and stare at my computer instead of helping him. So because I love him I went anyway and missed the buying everything.
Although I did get some Mac brushes as a gift to make up for me missing the collection. And for all of you guys wondering if I used tears to my advantage now. Don’t forget my husband is African he can smell me faking it a mile away. So no worries there until next time. I’ll let you guys know if I get something pass him. See you later Travelers.
At the beginning of my marriage I was subconsciously aware of everything except my body. I was trying to understand my husbands culture and lifestyle that I neglected my eating habits. I just ate and ate and ate. Did I tell you guys that we socialize every weekend? So of course that didn’t help.
I am pescetarian which means the only meat I eat is fish. It is very hard for me when I’m invited to my friends houses and the only option is cake for a dish without meat. Africans eat a fish dish at almost every event. And who don’t like Jollof rice? So I’m always able to make a plate of food with multiple items to eat when I go out with him.
I didn’t realize I’d gain a lot of weight until everyone started asking if I was pregnant. And if I was I would have been 4 to 5 months with the weight I gained. Almost 20 pounds in a short period of time. Mind you I was already 15 pounds over my BMI (body mass index).
When your happy you stop worrying about anything and just enjoy marriage. This is how I ate Africa, the whole of Africa. I didn’t care that I ate because I kept eating at every event.
Sometimes you can be so blind when it comes to how you look at yourself. When I would ask my husband did he think I was fat? He replied to me that I look good. A friend said that all African men like something to hold on to when it comes to their wives. I remember being told that some African tribes like for their wives to be big. It represent that they have the means to provide for their wives.
In my delusion about my weight I jump on the scale thinking that nothing had change. The airport was at it most turbulence after realizing I gain 18 pounds. I then decided that I would go on these crazy diets. Which drove my husband crazy. After two weeks of not cooking, and eating less my husband was done. And in his case it meant I was done. So now we have gym days. My husband decided that we can both do it together.
All in all my husband felt that me being me what every size I am was more important to him. So now we have a gym bill I never through gyms were so expensive. Also I was spending to much money on new clothes which probably help him with decision in the first place. You guys have to realize I have a his and her closet just for me. It’s way more cheaper to buy a gym membership. Lol! After one or two shopping trips my husband is like we’re going to the gym. I now lost about 7 pounds which means more shopping. What! That’s an accomplishment and you guys know me by now.
I would also like to take the time out to thank the many people who showed love on my last blog. Some of you guys really love the Airport living so I am going to call you guys travelers. Thanks again for all of your support. See you next week travelers.